On many occasions, I’ve heard people say that grieving is like a roller coaster. You have your ups and downs, your highs and lows–nothing is ever truly stable or settled.  How true a statement this is…

Before that awards ceremony on Sunday, I was on a pretty decent upswing.  I still had brief moments–how could I not?–but overall I was doing okay.  Since Sunday, it’s been one of those “you’d better hold on” roller coaster rides.  The ups and downs have come very suddenly.

This morning, I’ve found myself unable to focus on anything.  Teary-eyed out of the blue, I sit here and type out my rambling thoughts.  Maybe it was a song I heard on the radio?  As stupid as it sounds, I think even my pondering whether I should cancel the Oculus Rift VR toy has caused ripples.  It’s a silly extravagant toy–but it’s a silly extravagant toy that I bought for Micah and I to play with.  Micah.

All the hockey thoughts that are swirling in my mind right now–all reminders that this will be the first hockey season without Micah.  Sure, there was always a chance that Micah would stop playing hockey and I would continue working for the other kids in the sport.  Micah and I discussed that from time-to-time.  It compounds–even thinking about discussions Micah and I would have makes me think about our road trips together for hockey, our evenings in the hotel, just hanging out, talking.  I miss my son.

Maybe going to the Cubs game tonight with Cynthia and Avi will help…  I hope so.  I hate feeling like this…

Sorry–I don’t mean to bring others down with me…but I guess this is my blog.  This is how I get my thoughts out and try to cope…

David

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