I know I’ve said it on multiple occasions: the busier I am, the less time I have to think about how much I miss Micah.  This weekend was a perfect example.

Cynthia had to be in Chicago for her nephew’s memorial service, so this was a big Daddy-Daughter weekend for Aviela and myself.  Friday was a whirlwind tour of the therapist’s office, T-Mobile to swap Avi’s LG G4 for a new LG G5 (separate blog coming later this week with my hands-on review), back to the house for her evening meds, and then down to Chase Field for our first (of MANY) baseball outings.

Avi was surprisingly calm and happy to get her first real taste of a major league baseball game.  Now, that’s not saying she’d never been to one before–just that this time she made an honest effort to follow the game and learn something about baseball.  We stayed through the seventh inning–another record for Avi, before I decided we were best off heading out since we were both extremely tired and it was already almost 9pm.  Avi agreed that, normally (in games that are actual regular season games–this was a final spring exhibition game between the Diamondbacks and Royals) we will stay for most or all of the game–beginning tomorrow night: Opening Night against the Colorado Rockies.  The food buying was relatively controlled (just a couple hot dogs and drinks), and I kept my promise to get Avi a Diamondbacks cap.  (I also told her I’d get her a Diamondbacks jersey–but it turns out the online MLB Shop has better prices than the team store, even considering my Season Ticket Holder discount.)

Saturday started a little more relaxed…we both slept in until about 7:30, which was really impressive for both of us.  We ran a couple morning errands and grabbed a couple mini-cakes at Iced for Life (Williams Field and Val Vista in the plaza with Blue 32) and had a nice conversation with the young lady that owns the place (Avi has decided that she wants to work there when she’s old enough).  The rest of the day was kind of a blur–lots of running around, looking at houses, lunch at Fuddruckers…  Eventually we got home and went about our plan to unbox the 3D printer sitting in the office.  Well, I went ahead with that plan anyhow, Aviela lost interest before we started.  Just as well–after an hour and a half of futzing with the printer, I realized it had a defective part.  Called tech support and had the guy tell me I should just return it to Amazon for either a refund or replacement, since I just purchased it.  His lack of shock that the printer was damaged/defective convinced me to just return the printer and move on from that toy for a while.  Out for a couple more errands, and then finally home around 8pm, where Avi and I got caught up on Arrow.

Today had a much slower start–I had a hard time getting out of bed, but finally managed to get on my feet around 9:30.  Worked on a couple quick projects then took Avi to lunch and to see Deadpool again (her request).  Lunch didn’t agree with either of us, but I’ll spare everyone the details.  Got the grocery shopping done, made Avi and me a couple nice cuts of Ribeye (now Avi’s favorite cut), and worked on laundry and the budget for the rest of the evening…

As the day turned to night and hectic turned to calm, my thoughts again turned to Micah.  Friday morning, I got choked up and teary-eyed when I drove past his former junior high.  Saturday, I suppressed my grief on a couple occasions to try and help Aviela with her grief and related concerns.  Right now, I’m sitting here thinking about his bedroom next door to my office.  I’m wondering what he would have thought of Deadpool, what he would have said about my cancelling the Oculus Rift VR kit, what it would have been like to take him to another ballgame or two.

I know that at some point I’m going to just collapse in a well of tears.  I’m a little scared that it hasn’t happened already.  I do think it’s about time to change my Facebook profile picture…maybe.

I have a feeling that things may be a little more difficult as I head back into the rink over the next few weeks to work on planning for next season with my coach.  The rink brings out those memories…which is one reason why I blocked myself out of doing any scorekeeping for a couple months.  I just needed to have a break from rink life and that endless stream of memories.  Eventually though, I need to go back and face those memories, and go on with what I do so well…

Good night everyone,