Yeah, I have a lot on my mind today.
Many people believe many different things when it comes to the lingering spirits, souls, memories of their departed loved ones. Some believe that there is always a part of their loved ones that remains with us. Some think that, like the movie Ghost, their spirits only stick around if they have some kind of unfinished business to resolve. I kind of like the “Dead Like Me” perspective that sometimes the recently departed are needed to help guide and help others from this plane of existence to the next. (I have always wondered if, based on how I have lived my life spending so much time working with and helping others, I might be a Dead Like Me-like Reaper when it’s my time…) Some of the luckiest, perhaps, are those that don’t really believe in an afterlife at all, and just rely on their departed ones going back into the Earth that bore and sustained them in some kind of extended circle of life. I often find my mind wandering into that gray area–wondering what Micah is doing right now as I type this blog entry.
Since he passed, there have been many strange occurrences that have been noticed around me. Some I’ve noticed, others I’ve been told about by friends, family and others. I’ve never considered myself superstitious. I believe in luck–but in luck that’s only good for truly important things. For example, I’ve never really had gambler’s luck when I’ve been in a casino or participated in a Poker Night activity. However, I’ve closely avoided car accidents, never been seriously ill or injured, received money (not as in pennies from heaven cash and gifts, but money that was expected eventually in most cases) at times when I most needed it. So, when I feel fortunate for certain circumstances that I can credit to luck, I kind of think of it more as karma for good deeds done than luck.
Back in mid-March, I was asked to emcee the Arizona Hockey Union end of season awards ceremony. As much as I looked at the individual scripts from the teams ahead of time so as to be prepared for that afternoon, it didn’t hit me until I was on the stage at the podium just how many teams made references, direct or indirect, to Micah’s passing. At the most overwhelming point in my presentation, I started to feel a strange sensation–like a warm embrace–coming over me. For a moment, I wondered if I was about to faint or lose my footing, but I never actually felt unconsciousness approaching. (Unfortunately, I know what that feels like from past coughing fits when I’ve had bronchitis issues.) This feeling came as I spoke about how Micah’s death impacted his teammates.
After the ceremony, one of the coaches (and one of my friends) from AHU approached me and told me that almost every time I mentioned Micah or a something Micah-related during the ceremony, the random slideshow would show a picture of Micah. The slideshow was randomly displaying pictures from a large bank of photos submitted by 14 different teams. No one was controlling it. It was not running on some kind of bizarre Skynet type of artificial intelligence. But Micah’s face just kept appearing whenever he was discussed…
The number 37 is pretty damn random. Some numbers appear regularly because of popular Bible verse, or popular jersey numbers in different sports (like 42 yesterday, Jackie Robinson Day around Major League Baseball). Maybe I’m just more tuned-in to the number 37 right now, but it seems to be popping up everywhere I go. We looked at a new house last weekend in a brand new, just starting subdivision in southeast Gilbert. After we looked at models and chose an “elevation” we would want, we were offered a lot that just opened up for sale that matched our selections. The street address of that new house? 3706. 37 – Micah’s number, 6 – the age Micah started playing hockey. We did not choose this home because of the address (in fact, the addresses were not printed on the lot diagram), but maybe Micah did?
I still don’t know what to believe…but I’m beginning to think that maybe some of these coincidences are Micah’s way of letting me, letting us, know that he is still with us, and that he likes what we’re doing, he likes our choices. I just wish he could be here to enjoy them with us…