Tonight, I climbed into the scorer’s booth for the first time in three months. No big deal, right? I’ve been scorekeeping hockey games for about six years. I was able to be back at the rink for tryouts and contract signing without major issue, so why should scorekeeping be any different, right?
I should back up just a bit. Today was a long day. Up a little before 6, decided that this morning would be a good morning to begin the process of getting in shape, so went out with Cynthia for a half hour walk before continuing the process of getting ready for work. I have always been told that morning exercise is great to get the blood flowing and prevent mid morning collapse. The walk was good–maybe a mile and a half, perhaps a little more, but by mid morning, I could feel myself getting sleepy anyhow. When I get sleepy, I lose focus. When I lose focus, my mind wanders. When my mind wanders, it lands on Micah.
I had an on-again, off-again weepy day. No specific thoughts, just continued missing my son. When I got to the rink, I was near total collapse. I could feel the weight in my eyelids. Whereas I normally like to talk with other parents around the rink, tonight I just wanted to — I’m not even sure what I wanted to do. Around ten to seven, I said goodbye to the couple parents closest to me, and headed across to the other rink for my two adult league games.
Every time I looked out to the goals tonight, I thought of Micah’s shutter-step and hop when he would jump on the ice and head towards his net. Every time I counted a shot, my mind took me back to watching him stop shots during a game. Every song I played during a break made me think of what Micah would say about my music choice. It was a long evening of adult league hockey.
In the end, I survived. I’m home now, writing this blog entry, wondering how next week’s couple kids house league games will go…and eventually, that first new season youth travel game I might work…
It’s not about Micah, yet it’s all about Micah.