Tonight, I climbed into the scorer’s booth for the first time in three months.  No big deal, right?  I’ve been scorekeeping hockey games for about six years.  I was able to be back at the rink for tryouts and contract signing without major issue, so why should scorekeeping be any different, right?

I should back up just a bit.  Today was a long day.  Up a little before 6, decided that this morning would be a good morning to begin the process of getting in shape, so went out with Cynthia for a half hour walk before continuing the process of getting ready for work.  I have always been told that morning exercise is great to get the blood flowing and prevent mid morning collapse.  The walk was good–maybe a mile and a half, perhaps a little more, but by mid morning, I could feel myself getting sleepy anyhow.  When I get sleepy, I lose focus.  When I lose focus, my mind wanders.  When my mind wanders, it lands on Micah.

I had an on-again, off-again weepy day.  No specific thoughts, just continued missing my son.  When I got to the rink, I was near total collapse.  I could feel the weight in my eyelids.  Whereas I normally like to talk with other parents around the rink, tonight I just wanted to — I’m not even sure what I wanted to do.  Around ten to seven, I said goodbye to the couple parents closest to me, and headed across to the other rink for my two adult league games.

Every time I looked out to the goals tonight, I thought of Micah’s shutter-step and hop when he would jump on the ice and head towards his net.  Every time I counted a shot, my mind took me back to watching him stop shots during a game.  Every song I played during a break made me think of what Micah would say about my music choice.  It was a long evening of adult league hockey.

In the end, I survived.  I’m home now, writing this blog entry, wondering how next week’s couple kids house league games will go…and eventually, that first new season youth travel game I might work…

It’s not about Micah, yet it’s all about Micah.