Getting ready for the CVHS Concert Choir retreat, I went searching for an SD card I could use for the choir’s new video camera.  In the top of my DSLR camera case, I found an old SD card, 32gb.  I figured this might work, guess I should check it’s contents before I reformat…

I need to be honest here.  Most still cameras, video cameras, cell phone cameras, or other related digital recording devices have been used for the last 10 years, in large part, to record Micah’s hockey games.  I probably have two-plus terabytes of video and pictures of Micah lying around my office.  I have plenty of Avi too, but not nearly as much.  Being the unofficial team photographer for so many years will do that.  So, anytime I see picture or video files, there’s a good chance I’m going to hit on a stash of footage of Micah.  Today was no different…

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I especially love the last one, actually…Micah floating off the ground…

These were taken at our 2013-14 Jr Coyotes Bantam AA team kick-off party during the Summer of 2013.  The other images on the card were from Micah’s May 2013 trip to LA for a spring league tournament.  I could only get through so many clips of Micah in net before I just had to stop watching.

Yesterday afternoon was, I think, the closest I have yet come to having my first real breakdown.  I sat at my desk at work, trying to focus on a transcript, or an email, or anything at all–with no luck.  I tried getting up and walking around a bit–nothing.  I just managed to scrape by the rest of the day at work before heading to meet Cynthia and Avi for dinner and running the Arizona youth hockey league committee meeting to end my evening.

Today needed to be a day away from everything.  Uh-huh.  Nice thought.  I had a few quiet moments, time to cry, time to breathe a little.  But I am who I am, at least to this point–I wound up busying myself with work, hockey stuff, and now preparing for the retreat I’m chaperoning tomorrow.  It’s 3:15pm.  In about two hours, the whirlwind will whip up again, and occupy my time and attention until I put my head on the pillow for a bit, before an early departure for CVHS to chaperone the choir kids.

The storm is coming.  I know it is.  These last few weeks of rising sorrow, increased thoughts about Micah, fewer good nights of sleep…they foreshadow the dark, heavy clouds ahead.

If I’ve learned one thing, I can’t plan for the coming storm.  I just need to be careful that I’m not overexposed when it hits…

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