Today was certainly one of the stranger days I’ve experienced. I experienced a flood of thoughts about loss in the morning followed by a day of “emotional freedom.”
Emotional “freedom”, in this case, is when your emotions are free to roam throughout your day, unrestrained by situation or circumstance, paying no heed to logic or the moment–just enjoying a day in the park otherwise known as your soul.
I took Aviela to see Sing this morning. A wonderful animated movie-featuring-music (not really a musical in the true sense of the word) lined with great vocal performances by a wide range of talents. Not too heavy, but just the right depth for me…today… I don’t mention the voice actors by name because (even though they’d be easy enough to look up via IMDB or just by Googling) I found myself not really sure who the voices were as I watched the movie. This could have been caused by my emotional state today, but I’ll credit the voice acting for having me hear the characters, not the actors behind them. A couple names shocked me afterwards, others provoked an “oh, him/her–makes sense” response.
While the film was good, and the singing strong (yes, the voice actors apparently did sing their musical parts as well), this was not an overly deep, emotional film. Yet there I was, tear ducts working overtime as I watched the movie. More touching scenes almost produced a sob to go with the tears. Again–my emotions were enjoying their freedom as I watched the movie and gobbled popcorn. (Overall review of the movie: a solid B, will likely catch it again on video.)
After the movie, I found my mood quickly slipping away from me. By the time mid-afternoon rolled around, I just wanted to lie in bed and stare at the ceiling. Apparently it was depression’s turn to take control for a bit. I could not verbalize what was troubling me, or what had made me upset–I just was. Much like Tuesday, I wanted care and compassion, but I also wanted no one near me. Would have been a great time for a random act of kindness somewhere, by someone unaware that I might bite their head off for being kind. Alas…
Once I dealt with a couple more business-oriented matters this evening, we decided to finally watch the Sense8 Christmas Special. If you haven’t seen Sense8 (Netflix), umm…it would take an entirely separate blog to describe my fascination with the show to you. If you need a show where you can watch for 30 minutes and instantly “get it,” probably better that you skip this one. If you like human stories, character development, weirdness, a science-fiction twist or two, have the patience to watch 6-7-8 episodes before you really start to “get” what’s going on, and have no hang-ups over love in all it’s human forms (and are not squeamish over blood, nudity or sex/sexual situations), I HIGHLY suggest you watch this show.
Anyhow, you know those sex/sexual situations I talked about? Yeah–in the several months since I watched the final episodes of season one, I forgot about that part. Once the first, umm, sexually-charged scene came up, we quickly abandoned watching the episode, as Avi was in the room with us (albeit turned away from the television playing on her laptop, but still–in the room…). We’ll have to finish watching that later tonight or sometime tomorrow with Avi out of the room.
The human elements of Sense8 are incredible. The acting is stellar and extremely believable. As I watched (and after I watched) tonight, I found an interesting parallel to my own emotional situation. On the show, the characters are somewhat randomly able to feel the emotions being experienced by their counterparts around the world–at any one time, this can mean elation by one person, depression by a second, anxiety by a third, lust by a fourth and so on. Within the eight members of the Sense8 group, emotions are free to wander, not only within one person, but within the entire group. Just a completely random thought for my blog that perfectly tied in to my evening entertainment. Wild.
Not that the emotions are back in their cages, but I think I’m getting tired enough that their effects are now minimal. Tomorrow should be a fun day…meeting having a friend join the family for a nice Brazilian steakhouse lunch, meeting with two other friends to drive down to Tucson for the Roadrunners Star Wars Night–where I will be handling the public address announcing chores as always, but this time dressed in a Jedi/Sith robe, complete with lightsaber on my hip, and then–for once, driving home with some company–those same two friends. Guess I should get some sleep to prepare…