I have started to make a list of things I should consider giving up as 2017 begins.  Some things on that list are just redundancies.  Some items I’ve considered getting rid of will benefit my physical health.  Some considerations might help my mental health.  Before I make any hard and fast decisions, before I attempt to leave things in the past, I need to consider my actions and the potential reactions they may cause.

After watching another movie through tear-filled eyes this evening, I’m seriously debating if I need to take a break from seeing movies–add them to the list of things being given up for 2017.  My emotional state is such, right now, that I can’t seem to make it through most movies’ opening credits before I feel a mess.  Action film?  Comedy?  Romantic Comedy?  No difference.  Everything right now finds a way to affect me.

It’s not just movies either.  Minor, petty things that should never raise an eyebrow cause me stress.  For every action I observe right now, I have an unequal and dramatic overreaction…

Nothing seems right.
Nothing seems okay.

A new year has arrived,
A year that appears devoid of the hope of the past.
A year with much doubt,
A year with uncertainty–
Who will I become?
What might it look like?

Frustration–
With myself,
With others that should not frustrate.
Uncontrollable–
That frustration that immobilizes,
That renders the certain unclear,
That mocks decision-making,
As the spiral heads downward.

Strength–
Uncertain
Unclear.
How often can we go to the well
Before the well goes dry?
How often can I face the fury
Before all I can do is cry?

 

David

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