For the last two days, I have been focused on visits.

Friday afternoon, one of my best friends, his wife and their son arrived from Colorado to spend a few days with us.  I’ve known Pete since the early 90s.  We worked together at a certain ticket provider in Chicago for a few years, and developed a bond and friendship like few others.  Twenty-five plus years later, we still talk, chat and meet up to spend quality time together.  His wife and son are also incredible to hang out and talk with.

Saturday was a rough day.  After getting very little sleep, both Cynthia and I were hit with Micah thoughts and Micah grief early, and it really put a shroud over much of the day for us.  We enjoyed being with our friends, but right in the forefront of our thoughts was Micah.  I think mainly because of this, we decided to visit Micah on Saturday afternoon.

No matter how many times I visit his grave, the impact doesn’t diminish.  I stood there, looking at his monument, wondering what I should say to him.  As I stared into the ground, I wondered if I needed to come back and visit him alone–to really talk to him…

As youth hockey has started to fade a bit, I’ve thought about how leaving youth hockey (in some fashion) and Micah behind are linked.  I know it’s not rational or logical.  I can and will never leave Micah behind.  I suppose this is why I have struggled so much to let even part of hockey go.  I feel a connection between Micah and the sport–kind of like the connection I feel between Micah and his gear.  It still sits in his room, in his bag–as though it’s waiting for him to walk through the door and grab it for practice.  I still, 14 months later, can’t give it away.  I can’t sell it.  It cannot leave.  It is–was his.  That somewhat smelly gear and memories are what I have left of my son.

Last night, I visited a new part of my public address announcing career–the PERA Club in Tempe for my first beach volleyball match: ASU vs UA.  (UA won the overall match, 3-2.)  I had a great time and called myself hoarse (although I think part of that was caused by all the dust in the air from the beach volleyball courts).  Definitely wouldn’t mind calling future beach volleyball matches…

Today we decided to drive north and visit the Red Rocks of Sedona…

Frankly, I could have done without the trip into “downtown Sedona” (as I kept calling it).  Sure, there are lots of wonderful little shops selling everything from crystals to handmade jewelry…to jerky?  But I just wanted to spend some quiet time in nature…

Now it’s time to try and spend some quiet time visiting my bed…

Plenty more thoughts to come soon.  Tomorrow I need to visit the Peoria Sports Complex for the Cubs-Padres game, and the State Hockey Board meeting…

David

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