Just about four years ago, Micah and I were headed to Chicago for Micah to play roller hockey with Team Arizona at the big Midwest Wars roller tournament.  Cynthia and Avi were getting ready to move into our current house.  How much things can change…

Today, we started the process of packing for our next move–hopefully the last move we make pre-retirement.  This time, there was no Micah.  The new house will not have a bedroom that stinks of hockey gear.  The new house will not have an Xbox that is never turned off because Micah is always playing it.  The new house will have 37s prominently displayed–starting at the address next to the front door.

This morning, we started tackling the bottomless pit known as our home office.  We managed to get about two-thirds of the room de-trashed and prepared for packing.  In the process, we came across many relics of times gone by: old electronics manuals, a couple ancient cell phones, outdated networking gear…and then the pictures.  There were pictures of Micah and Avi from their much younger years, videos of a six, seven, eight year old Micah playing hockey, baseball memorabilia, hockey memorabilia, and more pictures of Micah…and more…and more.

Before tomorrow is done, we will finish the office and attack Micah’s room and the downstairs hall closet–the repository of all Micah’s old hockey things.  We will see more pictures and memory-inducing items of Micah’s, and we will struggle.  We will struggle because it’s hard to see all those memories of our son–our son that is not moving into the new house.  We will struggle because we cannot simply throw out things that were part of Micah’s life.  We will struggle because we miss our son, our daughter misses her brother.  We will struggle because we know that we only symbolically leave the memories of that night behind us–everything that was Micah, that is Micah, will come with us.

We will struggle–not just tomorrow, or the next day, or on the day of the move three weeks from now.  We will continue to struggle because we all loved Micah, and our memories are all that remain.